Mademoiselle, vous êtes très charmante...

Apparently, vanity got the better of me today, as I sallied forth in a short jean skirt and off the shoulder black top to face the 50something degree weather. Apparently, I forgot that I have a cough AND still-damp hair smelling of hair styling unguents...or perhaps I didn't forget, but overrode common sense with my Narcissistic tendencies...

In any case, I suppose I didn't look half bad, as per this incident:

Scene: Monoprix, the Safeway (or Shaw's, for you East Coasters) of Paris. I am leaning over the freezer, picking out frozen vegetables for my fried rice (rather, my mother's. but hopefully i'll make it mine soon). Ears are plugged with the delicate white plastic buds of my ipod nano.

Man: Excusez-moi mademoiselle, mais est-ce que je pourrais faire votre connaissance?
(roughly: excuse me miss, can we meet each other? well more like can we introduce ourselves)

Me: Ehh..., c'est comme vous voulez....

(as you wish)

Note: From past experience, I should know to say, sorry, I need to go. Or, I have a boyfriend. Nope, still not smart enough to do that. Or perhaps too soft hearted, he didn't seem too sketchy.

Man: etc etc etc asks about my background, where I'm from, where I live.

All the while, I'm alternately looking at him and glancing at the vegetables, unable to drop the rejecting words or say, "go away"

Man: Est-ce que vous avez un numero pour que on puisse se voir autour d'un verre?

(Do you have a number so we can meet up for a drink?)

Kate: (lying very very badly) Er, j'ai pas un portable...

(I don't have a cellphone...)

Man: Un addresse d'email, donc?

(How about an email address?)

Kate: Je suis très occupée, j’ai beaucoup de devoirs…et mon copain va me rendre visite la semaine prochaine.

(I'm really busy, I have a lot of homework, and my friend (male) is going to visit me next week)


Perfect time to pretend my "copain" is actually my "petit ami" (boyfriend). Nope, not clever/quick/hard hearted enough to do that non plus...


Man: Mademoiselle, je vous trouve si charmante...etc etc etc

(Miss, I find you very charming)

Me: Ummm, merci...mais il faut que je m'en aille....

(Thanks...but I have to go...)


And I run away, forgetting my frozen vegetables. How am I going to cook my fried rice? I suppose it's a dinner of baguette and rillettes for me tonight. Yum.

Oh Kate, when will you learn to say no??? Or pretend you have a boyfriend? I'm terrible at lying. Sigh. Although if I could lie, I'd say I was lesbian. Just a little white lie, non?

or maybe I like this. You know, it's quite possible. French men have this frank forthrightness, it can be unnerving sometimes, but very refreshing from the puerile Harvard mentality--enough with the shrinking violets, bring on the aggressive sunflowers, right? Or perhaps a compromise.....


In other words, I read the best Crimson article ever, an editorial by a freshman, which conveys my sentiments exactly. Entitled "What's a Woman to do?" I highly urge both men and women to peruse it at http://www.thecrimson.com/article.aspx?ref=513134


Motherhood is perhaps one of the most glorious positions I could ever have. It is a choice that I made many years ago, a conscious, educated, informed choice. Contrary to feminist accusations, I have not been oppressed by the patriarchial concepts of female subjugation into believing this. To the contrary, my parents, and especially my father, pressured me in the opposite direction. To first be an overachieving businesswoman, to climb the professional ladder first, to be in a position of power. I do not feel as though American society today pressures women into being housewives...there is a greater pressure for women to be super-beings--to be mothers and professionals. It's not to say it cannot be done. I'm sure there are women who make great mothers and great corporate powerhouses. But I know I cannot.

But for me, there was never a doubt what was more important to me, what was my choice above all else. For me, my family, my children will always come first. And feminists ought not, as Lucy pointed out, deny me this most basic, fundamental right of motherhood. I am not a feminist, but I always thought that feminism was about choice. Because freedom of choice has always for me equalled freedom. I have had, with regards to my family and social context, never been denied a choice in this matter. I saw the different scenarios, the possible forking paths to walk upon. And for me, the choice of motherhood is the most glorious, beautiful, indeed noble, of all accomplishments. And being a wonderful mother, that means more to me, beyond doubt, than being a CEO of Company X. . If feminists laud women who chose their career, why cannot they respect women who chose motherhood? It is once again, the freedom, the power of choice that empowers us more than the actual decision that we take. If I do not begrudge or envy women for choosing their career, why cannot I be accorded dignity for choosing motherhood?

To clarify, this is not to say that my only goal in life is to be a mother. Only that motherhood is a choice I would gladly and easily make in the future.